National Princess Week: I Only Defend The Sparkle

If you’ve never heard about National Princess Week, don’t worry… no one else had before either.  It’s the joint creation of Disney, Target, and Julie Andrews and this was the first one.  I stumbled across it randomly in the news, and then on the Target website when I was trying to shop for a chair.

They say “children across the country are invited to celebrate the sparkle and wonder of every princess—real, aspiring or imagined” in the official press release.  That sounds fabulous… especially because Disney and Target have a host of princess paraphernalia you can spend money on this week to help your children do that.

Let’s be real… No Target and Disney invented week isn’t going to get a ton of crap in the news.  Even if you get Julie Andrews to be the face of it.  Yes, we’ve had a new Princess, ahem, Duchess, for exactly a year this week – But unless you got Kate to personally endorse a NATIONAL holiday for a country that she has been to once?  It’s just cheesier you made it this week.

But here’s what has really annoyed me about this week: the turn the backlash has taken.  Talk about how obviously commercial and ridiculous it is, I’m right there with you.

But this week’s media has been distorted into validation for the “Cinderella Ate My Daughter” crew who cringe every time their daughter asks for something pink or sparkly.  And that makes me cringe.

The general argument is that historically, toys have represented what roles we expect kids to take when they grow up.  They wouldn’t have been advocates of the plastic kitchen I was making dinner in or the baby dolls I was taking care of growing up.  They now focuses on the Princess idea, and thinks that is also sending a bad message about what we want girls to be, and their relationship with boys when they grow up.

I guess my annoyance is this: it seems like they’re actually trying to teach their daughters that in the end being “girly” makes you somehow less admirable.  You don’t hear anyone arguing that the boys need to be less like boys, so why on earth do the girls have to act less like girls?  To me, this seems to defeat your whole feminist argument.  Don’t teach girls they need to act like boys to be worth something, teach them there is something incredibly special in their femininity.

Girls want to be princesses because they want to be special.  They want to be adored.  And guess what: they are and they should be.  I actually think that if more girls expected boys to treat them like a princess, we’d fix a lot of problems.  It’s the girls who don’t believe they’re special and don’t believe they should be adored that I worry about.

I can’t pretend I have some great affinity for a marketing campaign feigning as a national celebration, but I can get behind putting a little more sparkle and wonder in our girls, and if that means a little more princess play this week, I’m all for it.

The Grown Up Temper Tantrum

I have a temper.  Let’s just get that out there.  It’s one of the things I’ve inherited from my father… And to be quite honest, I’ve never really had a problem with that.  I’m feisty.  And sometimes, a girl needs that.  A little sass can go a long way.

But it’s a much more adorable characteristic when you’re a single girl, independent and taking on people who are just waiting to underestimate you.  When you’re married to a sweet and adoring person who is trying his best… Less adorable.  When you’re frustrated with where your own decisions have landed you, it just makes you combustible.

I’m dramatic. I have a huge imagination.  I’ve been a writer since I had the means to record anything on paper… By the time I was 8 I had notebooks full of stories stacked up in my closet.  I had a number of people tell me that if I wanted to be a novelist, getting background in other things was the best idea… The degree wouldn’t make someone publish my book.  What I channelled in to my characters and plots would.  So I studied Psychology, because I love that people can be so similar and so different at the same time.  And I studied Child Development and Family Studies, because I wanted to better understand how people were shaped by the things around them.  And the whole time, I was writing… After college I took a full year off just to write.

How did I end up in law school? It’s a question I ask myself every day. I have no good answer.

I understand that what I’m doing accomplishes the same goal as my studies in college did to a point… I’m learning about something that so many writers want to be able to write about.  Clients give me such insight into lives I’ve never experienced and struggles I’ve never personally faced.

It’s the fact I don’t have time to invest in my writing… my outlet is gone.  And the more I try, the more I get frustrated that there just aren’t enough hours in the day.  There weren’t in the beginning when I was single, and there’s even fewer now that I’m married.  And sometimes, the draining day to day leaves me with inspiration only to sleep.

Couple that with the fact that even after three years, these cities feel like that nice guy you have a decent first date with.  You’re like, sure, I’ll give it another shot.  And eventually you just get stuck. There’s never anything bad enough to make you flip your world upside down and walk away, but you almost wish it would happen.  And then just when you’re ready to walk away, there’s a glimmer of hope, but it never amounts to anything.  You never fall in love.  I’m so not in love with this place. And I came here right from my first love, a city that I adored completely.

My husband’s friends are here.  After three years, my friends are scattered and fading because I don’t have time to visit them or keep in touch the way I want to… And law school is about to end, and the few friends I adore will retreat, again, to all ends of the country.  It’s a lonely place to be, even when you never have time to be alone.

And sometimes that weight of it all, it’s just too much.  Sometimes the professors who you swear have no soul, and the relentless high-school drama, and the endless readings on corporate greed, and the extra-curriculars that you know will look amazing on your resume but that take up every last second you have so you don’t even have time to grocery shop, much less come home for dinner… It pushes me to the edge.

Which means that when my husband, with all of his good intentions and bad listening skills, ruined my night off last night, I might have snapped.  I might have thrown a handful of Apple Cinnamon Cheerios. And slammed the door a few times.  And yelled… Yup. I did. As if I were four. I’m not proud of it.  And if I were my husband, I would be a lot less forgiving.  But he is. Which almost makes it worse.

Sometimes, a girl just needs to vent. And apologize. An then regroup by making a spreadsheet to balance everything she needs to accomplish in the remaining 79 days.  And then cross her fingers that what comes next makes her less ready to fling cereal across her bedroom.  Or that she develops better self control.

Today’s Distractions…

Today was one of those days where I couldn’t get out of bed.  My husband tired to make sure I was awake before he left… But alas, I went back to sleep.  And by the time I woke up again, my built in “never be late” buffer had passed.  So, I left for work with wet hair and no coffee.  It is fate’s cruel trick that on the mornings I need Starbucks most, I sleep to late to have time to stop.

I had a crazy to do list for today.  But when I am sleepy, and perhaps a bit tipsy on cold medicine, I become… distractible.

I love these polka dot nails, and apparently I’m not the only one.  Normally, I’m not a fan of the fingertip artwork… it tends to be a bit much.  But these are adorably simple.  I’m just trying to decide what color combination to try first.

Do you ever get a song stuck in your head, and you have no idea HOW it got there?  I haven’t heard this song in forever, but I started randomly singing it in my apartment today… It used to be one of my favorites.  And I think it quickly might be again.  One of my favorite things is rediscovering a set of lyrics that spoke to me once before, and that are just the thing once again.

Then I read an article that the snow in Europe was damaging old landmarks. The colosseum covered in snow was for some reason incredibly intriguing to me.  Then I started thinking about how the colosseum was really disappointing for me.  I remember thinking it seemed really small… But maybe in the snow…

So then I started thinking about my favorite European landmarks.  And had to flip through my pictures. By far my favorite place to visit, the amazing palace at Versailles. Add some electricity and plumbing, maybe some air conditioning, and it would be a perfect place to live…

I came home from my meeting tonight, cranky with a migraine, and saw the gift my husband gave me yesterday, and I was less cranky suddenly.

Then of course, instead of getting back to work, I shopped online. Gotta love Jimmy Choo!

It’s time for a good night sleep.  Hopefully tomorrow is more productive.