Reality stinks, especially after a fabulous three day weekend.
I didn’t work a bit. My sister came up and we went out for yummy meals and shopped and battled my husband at mini golf and games, and then when she left I still had yesterday off with the house to myself to sleep in and get random things done and visit with friends… The best weekends make for the hardest mornings back.
It’s a big week in our home and thinking about it makes me a little nauseous. After two weeks of watching people’s desks slowly empty out at work, I know our department is next. It could come at any moment and they give almost no warning. And on the other side, my husband has his first big case on Thursday. This case will basically set the tone for the rest of our year – where we can live, and how bad the aforementioned layoff possibility might be…
I really want to bury my head in the sand and not think about it at all. Things have been going so well, the fact that we’re essentially on the brink of make it or break is something I just don’t want to consider. I try to walk the fine line between optimism and getting your hopes up, but I’m never very good at it.
So, instead I’m focusing on the fact I ate tons of junk all week and still managed not to undo all of my hard work to this point
And that I have a wonderful husband who offered to drive me in to work so I don’t have to deal with the 40 below wind chills this morning. (Moving to a warmer climate is becoming a much more enticing plan B to our lives)
And that I have such a fantastic little sister that I miss her even when she was just here.
Bring on the week…
“It’s a holiday…”
“I should really start on a Monday.”
“We have cupcakes left over from last night…”
I woke up energized, and I STILL had this argument this morning. It seems to be in my nature to get in my own way. Don’t worry, I won out over my excuses. But it reinforced how making life changes is an every day decision.
So I did two things to help me succeed (at least in the resolution to get healthy):
1. I got my husband on board with me. Like a lot of women, my eating habits changed when I moved in with my husband. And now, we have some collective bad eating habits. I’ve learned from past attempts that it’s harder to make changes when someone is sitting right in front of you, eating what you WANT to be eating.
2. We put our money where our empty promises used to be. We decided to give WeightWatchers 360 a try, so that we’re both on the same page. I’ve done it before, and it worked while I stuck with it, but when I decided I could get the same results on my own and dropped it… well, I SHOULD be able to. But it hasn’t happened. So I’m jump starting my progress with a little more structure.
For the rest of my resolutions, I have a spreadsheet. I’m addicted to spreadsheets. They’re normally color coded. I’ll probably color code this one while I’m watching the Rose Bowl.
All day I’ve been thinking of other things I should have resolved. But I’m hesitant to add any. I tend to try to do too much at once, and then fail horribly at all of it. I might need to resolve not to resolve any more…
2012 is finally ending. I can say with certainty that it was the hardest year of my life. I am completely content to see it go.
In fact, I don’t really want to look back. I’m curled up by the fire with a glass of wine, in a minor food coma from the amazing dinner my husband made for me. Why ruin that by focusing on the less-than-fabulous?
I have been looking forward. Bring on 2013.
The Birthday Of A Blogging Resolution
This blog was one of my resolutions last year. It’s the one resolution I’ve been somewhat successful at keeping. This blog brought me back to writing. It helped me find my inner word artist again.
Now that “writer” is my full time job, and I’ve found my way back to my first love, fiction, I considered hanging up my URL and saving my words for work and novels. But as I went to discontinue my domain before it renewed, I couldn’t do it.
Partly because I’ve learned the key to me keeping resolutions – telling people and documenting it. One of the reasons I survived NaNoWriMo was my plastering of NaNo badges all over my Facebook so that even people I haven’t spoken to since high school knew what I was up to.
Now, granted, if anyone from high school reads my blog they don’t know it. But as my journal of sorts, I think documenting my attempt to make 2013 the year of keeping my resolutions on my blog might make a difference. So here goes…
2013 New Years Resolutions
- 365 Days of Gratitude: One of the things I’ve learned over this past year, is that even on the worst days you can imagine, there are things to be grateful for. And sometimes just noticing them can turn things around. So I resolve to document one thing I am grateful for (not repeating), every day in 2013.
- Read 25 New Books: I feel like this number is lame. It doesn’t sound very challenging. But I had a hard time choosing. Aside from writing, reading for fun was one of the things I lost in law school. I want to get myself back into books. But not to the detriment of…
- Writing 250,000 Words of Fiction: Again, arbitrary number. But I’ve learned that if I don’t pick a concrete goal, I get lost. So what this comes out to is just over 20,000 words a month. And NaNo comes at the end of the year to play pick up in November. I wish I didn’t need to assign myself to write, but I learned in December, as my NaNo novel sat abandoned, I need to.
- To Hit My Goal Dress Size: I know. Really? So cliche. The number one resolution people make and abandon before President’s Day. But I’ve reached a breaking point. I’ve always been curvy, even when I was in high school and trained for a competitive sport 5 days a week. I actually love my curves. What I don’t love is feeling like a blob from all the weight I gained in law school. I don’t really care what the number on my scale is, I know what size I feel comfortable and health at, and I am determined to get there by 2014.
- Be A Straight-A Wife: There’s no good way to quantify your marriage, but as our relationship changes (and we don’t spend all day in the same apartment anymore) I want to do my part to keep our marriage healthy. I want to be less critical, snap less, and go out of my way to be show love more. Because my husband really is my best friend, and sometimes he gets the worst of me.
In fact, now I’m off to snuggle next to him on the couch to watch the ball drop. Good-bye 2012. I plan on making 2013 a year to remember