Monthly Archives: March 2012

Getting One Of Those Calls…

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I mentioned on yesterday’s post how I bought lottery ticket.  So did the rest of the world.  But it turns out yesterday I wasn’t thinking about a winning jackpot at all.  I was wishing for everything to go back to the way it was when I wrote that blog…

It was one of those phone calls.  The kind you see on melodramas and insurance commercials.  The kind where the phone rings, and you automatically know something is wrong.  My cell phone went off with my husbands ringtone next to my computer at work, and I silenced it because I was in the middle of finding something for my boss.  But then I looked at it again, and for some reason answered.

He immediately started relaying details of the accident.  He didn’t skip to “I’ve been in an accident and I’m fine/not fine/the car’s totaled/I’m at the hospital.”  But I couldn’t get myself to interrupt him.  So I just pictured the whole thing, the worst version of it that you could probably take from the story he was telling.  And I waited. My chest was tight, my pulse was pounding… I don’t know how parents get those calls about their children.  Because this was bad enough.  I think if it was my kid I might have fallen out of my rolling chair.  And he was talking, so it was already not as bad as it could have been.

He said he was ok and he had to talk to the cops.  Then he called back, sounding less ok.  By the time I got to see him, he could barely walk.  His head was down, because he said it hurt to much to lift it up.  That’s when I knew it wasn’t just a little bump.

So we waited, and waited, and then finally saw a doctor, who told us that he could very well have a break in his spine, or compressed vertebrates, and we needed to run tests. So we waited, and they took X-rays and we waited some more.  Thankfully, his spinal column is fine.  It was all soft tissue damage.  Which doesn’t make the pain go away but it could be worse.  He’ll probably need some physical therapy.  Golf might be out of the question for a while (this was by far the hardest part… the look on his face was pure devastation).

If I could catch the idiot who ran the red light, causing the accident, who never stopped, he’d be afraid of me.  All of the stress and nerves and emotion of those first few hours would come flying out of me with whatever innate protectiveness women have to their families anyway… I’d be crazed.  But we probably never will.

My husband slammed on his breaks not to hit the guy running the light.  He stopped just in time to avoid a head on collision.  But the woman behind him didn’t get the memo.  I don’t have the same rage towards her.  I know how fast these things happen.  Legally she’s at fault and she has insurance.  We have insurance.  If those things work out like they’re supposed to, that would be really helpful.  We spent hours on the phone with insurance, getting claim numbers started and adjustors names…

I’m a law student.  In 48 days I’m going to have my J.D. and once I pass a test, I’m an attorney.  I’m going to be the person that people call in these emergencies to ask what to do.  And what do I do? I call my mom.  Yup… Apparently years of studying torts law and studying personal injury cases has nothing to do with it.  You still just want your mom to tell you what to do.

After I got my husband home, medicated and to sleep in bed, I just sat for a while with my head spinning.  It could have been worse. He was lucky. The car will get fixed. Insurance will take care of it.  I was supposed to e-mail the paralegals. I was supposed to finish that paper. It’s all ok.  It’s going to be worse tomorrow.  We have no groceries for tomorrow.  Should I leave him alone on that much medication?  What else do I need to cancel for the weekend? What if he hadn’t stopped when he did?

Before I went to bed my mom reminded me: Did you win?  I had forgotten completely about the lottery ticket.  (And no, only one number matched on all three tickets.)  But this morning my husband was in bed next to me when I woke up. And he’s moving, slowly.  So I’m not even disappointed.  I have everything I need.

What would you do with half a billion dollars?

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What would you do with half a billion dollars?

I think there were a lot of people asking that question this week.  One of us might get to find out the real answer after tonight’s Mega Millions drawing.  The annuity is over half a billion.  I believe the immediate payout is somewhere around $390 million.  After taxes, that’s still about $260 million.

So we’re down to just over a quarter a billion dollars.  But still, what would I do with that?  I’m not even sure my head truly wraps around how much money that is.  We talk about billions and trillions of dollars, but the average person doesn’t handle money in those quantities.  I know I don’t.  But I think I can daydream a little bit here… The first ten things I’d do.

#1. Pay Stuff Off

My parents taught me pretty young the value of paying off your credit cards and not living a lifestyle you can’t afford.  But there is one major debt that I would be incredibly glad to be rid of: student loans.  Two law students in one marriage makes for a big bill, even though one of us has a free ride and the other has some decent scholarships.  The first thing I would do is pay it all off.  Easy come, easy go, right?  If it’s going to go, I at least want to be just broke, and not in debt.

#2. Rent A House

Why rent a house when you can  buy the whole block?  Because, being loaded doesn’t suddenly make me less anal retentive or neurotic. I’m not just going to buy something to buy something, because I don’t really know what I’d want. I want to enjoy my shopping for this dream home, or maybe build my perfect place.  But we would be out of our apartment immediately.  Probably in one of the gorgeous rental mansions that exist outside the cities on a lake.  With a security system.  Because let’s be honest… the public is crazy.  And then in time, we’d get a dream home.  Maybe here, maybe there… maybe two.  We’d figure that out eventually.

#3. Get A Puppy

I know. Everyone else is on to yachts and cars and all I want is a puppy.  But I really really really want a puppy.  And I’ve never been able to have one, because I’ve never had an apartment that would let me.  And I’ve never had the free time to take care of one either.  It’s not fair to leave a dog locked up when you’re at school 12 hours a day.  At least I don’t think so.  And with no time and no yard… no puppy so far.  But that would change.  We’d probably get two actually.  I want a little one… He wants a big one.  Probably a little teeny cute thing and a golden retriever.

#4. A New Car or Two

An SUV. It has to have four wheel drive.  Maybe then I wouldn’t hate driving in Minnesota snow.  And a jack for my iPod, because the best therapy in the world is driving around singing at the top of your lungs. And a sun roof.  Oh, and maybe a second one that’s a convertible.  It is a quarter BILLION.  I can have two.

#5. Shopping Spree

Ok. It isn’t actually the fifth most important, but it would happen by this point.  We live by Mall of America, we’d take a weekend trip to NYC.  There would be some shopping.  I can’t imagine being as crazy as some people would be, but there would be some expensive shoes, expensive purses, random items… Plus, I’d have to stock up for #6.

#6. Travel

Strangely, for all of my bitching about law school, I’d still take the bar in July.  I’ve gotten too far to forget it all before it’s offered again.  But after that, and before thinking about what this windfall would mean for the rest of our lives, world tour.  I can guess first up would be Australia, because he’s never been.  New Zealand, because I’ve never been.  And then we’d work our way to the destinations that either still elude us because of budgetary constraints, or that we love and want to revisit.  Santorini, Paris, Hawaii, Africa, Ireland… Some alone. Some with friends. Some with family.  Just an anywhere or everywhere vacation.

#7. Big Log Lake Home Up North

If you’re not from the Midwest, let me explain.  Up North is actually a place. That’s it’s official name.  It doesn’t have exact boundaries, but you know when you get there.  My dad always said the weeds on the side of the road change.  And you know you’re there.  You’re Up North.  I grew up with annual Up North vacations, and my husband always wanted them.  So we’d get a getaway… probably one of the ones that’s a mini compound for the whole extended family.  Boats and Jet skis and laying on the dock fishing.  That’s how you spend a summer.

#8. Sharing

This is where it gets tricky though.  Who would come out of the woodwork? You know someone would, asking for you to invest in their next big idea… and just because you’re an awesome friend doesn’t mean I want to invest in your business schemes.  I’m sure you’d lose some friends, maybe even some family, because you have to say no sometimes.  But then think about the fun dreams you could make come true for the people you love! The things you know they’ve always wanted, the things that were just always a little out of reach.  I think that would be one of the most fun things to do.

#9. Set Up My Own Charity

I think the thing I would dedicate most of my time to when I got back would be setting up my own charity.  There isn’t one out there right now that I think does what I want to do.  I’d start one.  Build something that could do more than what just my own chunk of money could do.  For me, it would be all about kids.  Kids that get lost in the system because of their parents.  Kids that get abused and neglected.  Kids in poverty.  Kids struggling with health problems.  That’s what I’m passionate about.  That’s where a big chunk of my resources would go.  And on top of that, I’ve always thought Oprah’s life looked pretty fun.  Random fun giveaways the make a huge difference.  Showing up with Christmas for families who can’t afford it.  A car for this one, a scholarship for that one.  The kinds of random acts that shake up someone’s life.  This would probably be more fun for me than any shopping spree.

#10. Start A Family

We spend so much energy right now trying to figure out what our lives are going to look like in a few months.  And the one thing that has gotten pushed off until that is all sorted out, is us starting a family. And after a vacation and some setting down, that’s what we’d want.  No amount of money is going to make me a club hopper or want some crazy jet set lifestyle.  We’d figure out where we wanted to set up our home base, and we’d put down roots.  I’d write and be a mom, my husband would work (I know him, he couldn’t not do something) and be a dad.  And we’d be content living a pretty un-ridiculous lifestyle.  We’d just have nicer cars and take nicer vacations.  And have one less thing to worry about.

We normally don’t do this, but there is a lottery ticket hanging on our fridge this week… Because the odds are horrible. Something like you’re more likely to get struck by lightning twice and become President than win.  But you can’t win if you don’t play.  And if daydreaming about winning is that much fun, actually winning has to be better.

Hello Clocky, Nice To Meet You

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Apparently I have mastered the alarm-turn-off without waking up.  I’m normally not that skilled.  Normally even if my hand subconsciously flies towards the bedside table, I knock off my glasses or water and suddenly my eyes shoot open.  But apparently my flying hand has become more stealth. Two mornings in a row now I have overslept.

I think I am in desperate need of this thing I didn’t know existed.  Clocky.

Clocky: The alarm clock that runs away

Who knew?  Possibly a lot of you, but I didn’t.  I think this is genius.

I also think it opens up my world to a lot of early morning injuries.  I see this thing taking off and me lunging out of bed for it before my feet are untangled from the sheets.  I see it rolling under the bed and inciting a panic because my husband does not get up as early as I get up.  (If there was one advantage to being a guy, I think it’s the five minute get-ready period.)  I see myself banging into anything and everything, while tripping on whatever I left on the floor the night before.

But I also see me getting to work on time.  Because after you’ve chased your alarm clock around the pile of dirty laundry and into the walk in closet, which is where mine would probably head, you’ve got to be awake.